Here I am, mid-morning of another day in bed. Remembering what we used to do at 10:30 on a week day morning. I was involved with my children and we were busy about our morning routine. For the 4th straight week as of tomorrow, I am at the mercy of whoever is here helping me today. My children are being taken care of at some other place in the house by someone who is not me. My dinner wont be cooked by me. My laundry wont be done by me. I wont get my children ready for bed or tuck them in. I wont do anything but stair at the ceiling and have a bit of interaction as the children filter in and out thru the day to say hello or give me a picture they have made. Anna told me on Friday when Daddy was taking them to the park "mommy I sure can't wait til you can go to the park with us again"..... I cried like a baby when she left the room. I can't wait either and I am so sad to be missing their lives this spring.
One thing I know for sure.... I will never ever EVER take my roll as capable wife and mom for granted again. I will NEVEr again see laundry or dishes or house cleaning as drudgery. I will never again tell the children I would rather sit and watch instead of play chase when they ask. I will never again tell the children I need to do laundry instead of play. I will never again put housework over just sitting and reading or doing a craft or swinging or sliding or any other things I could be doing with my children.
I would give anything to get out of this bed today and exist in a healthy world with my children. I am resting and healing now so I can do those things again one day.... For now though this is not fun.
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2 comments:
I can so relate to this. I was unexpectedly put in the hospital about 1 1/2 yrs ago and I remember sitting in my room by myself at night crying thinking about Brad being at home with the boys getting them in bed. I realized I was missing some of the very things that I complained about alot. Funny how perspective changes everything! Just think about how much you will appreciate those things when you can do them again and if you can say that about laundry for a family of 6 then that is saying something! :-)
thanks for those sweet words! you are so right.... my perspective has totally changed!! i can't wait to do laundry again... am i really saying that?? =)
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