I think sometimes trials can make us or break us. I don't handle trials well. I get angry... Angry at whoever I think caused the problem that led to the trial, and admittedly angry at God for allowing such a trial. In the end when the trial is over and you look back you realize there was nothing to be gained through all that anger you felt was so appropriate in the midst of the trial. I determined a while back that the next time a trial came my way I would handle it with grace and dignity knowing that in the end I would only grow stronger through the experience. While also knowing that I would not have to be ashamed or embarrassed or have regrets over handling the trial with anger and immaturity, possibly saying or doing things I don't mean.
This trial did not get the best of me... I am excited about this! Anger did not rule me!! I can't say I handled it all perfect... I did have some moments of self pity... Which is incredibly unbecoming to any lady but I am working on that! I don't want to sit around and feel sorry for myself and I certainly don't want to teach my kiddos that! But I can say that joy and peace prevailed in my heart through all of this. God gives us peace even in the midst of our trials ... Just ask Him for it!
As far as my physical recovery goes... I am doing better everyday. I still spend most of my day on my back BUT I am not in pain and I can walk around within reason. I road in the car to Sonic this weekend and I helped the children make their Easter cupcakes and dye their Easter eggs! I will be able to carry Rivers again in three weeks and when that day comes my life will be able to resume as normal for the first time in two and a half months... Yay!!!
Still looking at the ceiling a lot but glad to be healing... Everyday of being still and resting gets me one step closer to fully restored health .... Chasing my children around, doing my own laundry, cooking meals and being full time wife and momma again... So in the end, it is all worth it!!
I don't ever want to relive it but at the end of the day it has brought a whole new way to look at life and strength I never knew I had! These are those moments in life that you know change you forever!
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