This has been a recurring event EVERY night for 20 nights now. My pain medication wears off and my body wakes me every so rudely to remind me that I am in need of another dose. The position of lying down has been the most excruciatingly painful and yet ironically the one I most desperately want to be in when night comes. It is a horrible feeling to be so incredibly tired yet when you lie down to rest your body screams in pain. This is why I am so grateful for modern medicine and in particular pain medicine. I have no idea how I would have survived the past three weeks without it.
I am beyond grateful that in about 27 hours I will be headed to the hospital to get my back fixed. If you had told me three wees ago that this situation would end in surgery I would not have not believed you even for a second. However, it is reality and honestly, I can't wait to get there and get it done. The fact that my pain will be relieved the second they get the disc off the nerve is just about the most amazing thing to me right now. This pain is like NOTHING I have ever experienced and hope to never experience again. It is like labor pain in my lower back and down my leg.... but labor pain that NEVER quits and has not amazing reward like a precious baby to hold in the end.
That is enough of my complaining though.... I must say again how incredibly amazing everyone in my life has been these three week. My sweet mother in law has spent countless hours playing with the children giving me a break to rest physically and mentally. She has done dishes, gotten children ready for bed and helped with keeping the house straight. My mother has been here at my house EVERY DAY for the last three weeks doing something... whether it be taking me to doctor appointments or doing dishes or doing mound after mound of laundry...she has done it all. Both my mom and mom in law have served our families with such joy and selflessness! We are blessed!
My dad even mowed our yard and has spent lots of time playing with and helping out with the children!
Of everyone though, my rock has been Jimmy! He has supported me in more ways these three weeks than I ever thought possible by one human. He has been 100% mommy and daddy to the children, done dishes, done laundry, kept the house clean, cooked amazing meals, grocery shopped, not to mention working his regular job. He has done all of this with incredible kindness, never once making me feel like I am a burden or that he is annoyed with the workload. I have so much to learn from his attitude.
Most of all though is the emotional support he has given me during this time. He has held me when the pain has been so bad in the middle of the night that I can't do anything but cry. He has spoken so many encouraging words over me that have helped me get through another day. Like I said before, he has never even once made me feel like a burden... in fact he has done it all with joy and incredible kindness. I already know Jimmy is an amazing person but these three weeks have really shown me how much selfless love he truly has for me. I know these three weeks have brought the two of us closer together than ever before!
I am amazingly blessed!!
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